Dear Dear Leader

Dear Dear Leader:

Do they know it’s Christmas in North Korea?

- A Wretched and Pointless Western Idiot

Dear Wretched and Pointless Western Idiot:

I asked my manservant, Jeff (formerly a Western idiot “journalist” who wandered into our country to “take pictures” and now serves me until he either dies or is buried alive with me), about this “Christmas.” He started to tell me the story of a tiny infant who rules over the Middle East with an Iron Fist, but I fell asleep once he got to the part about the baby telling people to “love each other.” So boring! LOL! 

I asked Jeff what this baby has to do with the fat, bearded Supreme Commander who forces his flying deer slaves to deliver gifts to fat, non-bearded Capitalist pig children, but he distracted me with a roasted turkey leg. I hope all you Western idiots enjoyed celebrating your greediness and sloth today!  In your honor, I will make Jeff lose to me at Dance Dance Revolution for 5 straight hours. :P