Office by Alex Penny
Dear Dear Leader:
What changes to our Great & Venerable nation can we expect now that your father, our Peerless Leader & the Sun of Socialism, has been laid to rest?
- Your Humble Servant who Dreams of Basking in Your Perfect Light, Sunch’on DPRK
Dear Humble Servant who Dreams of Basking in My Perfect Light:
Thanks for writing in, my curious subject! First, for implying that change is needed in our Holy and Perfect Nation, you will be tracked down by my military police and publicly humiliated in the streets of Sunch’on. Then you and your family will be relocated to one of our Glorious Work Camps for the People where your youngest children will be assigned to latrine duty for life. LOL! :P
To answer your question, it is absolutely imperative to honor the traditions established by my father and grandfather, but I also want to inject my own “flair” into the lives of my blessed citizens. First, a new public holiday will be added to our calendar: 17 February shall henceforth be known as “His Airness Day” in honor of the celestial birth of Michael Jordan. Second, just as “No Motherland Without You” was written in musical homage to my father, I will request that Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do it” be played at every public event I attend. Lastly, I will increase our contact with Western emissaries by allowing Australia to open its first Outback Steakhouse in the DPRK. I am tired of ordering bloomin’ onions by air mail. :(
